My therapist looked at me.
"Am I healing properly? Am I doing enough to heal?"
"Hallie, you are doing more than all of my clients combined. You're doing too much. I actually would advise you to take a step back."
I couldn't see myself.
I had that familiar pressure that I wasn't enough.
I was trying anything and everything to feel normal again.
Using essential oils.
Doing a diet cleanse.
Seeing a therapist twice a week.
Interviewing for jobs.
Writing my book proposal.
Spending time with friends.
I finally hit a breaking point.
I had an argument with someone I cared about.
I was depressed and unhappy about an interview.
I felt emotionally unstable from a cleanse I was trying.
I got my period...which never helps.
I cried for days.
I felt a loss of control.
I had spiraled.
After that conversation with my therapist...
I avoided freelance for a couple of weeks.
I canceled plans with friends.
Stared out a window.
Read a fiction book.
Laid in bed.
I realized how grateful I am to have people that can help me gain clarity and balance when I'm not in a place to do so. I'm grateful for people who are honest with what they see.