"Hallie, I think you feel down because you think that's how you're supposed to feel. What can you celebrate right now?" My therapist asked.
I had a few heavy weeks. I was working long hours and have conflicts with my friends.
I didn't feel like a good friend. I felt shame. I didn't feel like I deserved to celebrate. I'm allowed to still celebrate even when things feel crappy?
What can I celebrate?
My new apartment. The fact that I was able to lease my dream apartment while filing for bankruptcy.
It has everything I want and more. It's a fairytale home near all of my favorite things.
I want this place to be the place I finish my book. The place where I learn how to draw and paint. I want this to be the place that I have people over for dinner and sleepovers. This will be the place that I can enjoy time by myself and being single.
I can also celebrate my job. My team. The work that goes into every day.
My family. The relationships I've built with my niece and nephews. The lunches with my dad. The evening walks with my mom. The dinners at my brother's house.
I can celebrate my friends. The trips I have ahead. The adventures plotted and the memories we've shared.
I'm allowed to celebrate. In the midst of mistakes and sorrow, there are still things worthy of celebrating.