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I'm not ready...

To write my book.


To be willing to fight for a relationship like I did with my ex.


To let go of my past.


But I am ready to...


Stop defending him.


Stop letting my depression get the best of me.


Let go a little bit and look more forward to the future.


To accept the good things happening instead of thinking I don't deserve them.

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He knows

When I write about her, I'm not scared. I know I'm safe in my own home. I don't think she'd even try to find me. But him? Terrified. I can't sleep at night after I write the stories about him. I still

Then what?

File bankruptcy. Check. Get a job. Check. Get an apartment. Check. Get a therapist. Check. Change my last name. Check. Get a raise. Check. But what happens when the checkboxes run out? I had steps. I

Harder

It was a year ago. I remember this path I walked. I walked it often. I read my book, watched the deer play, and circled the park at dusk. Alone with my thoughts. I was finishing his lease after he mov