- Sep 1, 2021
- 1 min read

Then I'm back.

Updated: Sep 25, 2021

A cool breeze brushes my face on my morning run.

Then I'm back in Tenessee. Going on my morning run near our apartment. I feel the same cool breeze. Feel the same emotions. Depression. Pressure. And hoping this run can get me out of it.

I feel the warmth as I open my car door at Target.

Then I'm back once more. I'm married. It's a Friday night, and I'm buying decor for our home.

It can be the simplest thing.

A smell.

Temperature.

A familiar landscape.

To bring me back to who I was. In a different life, as a different person.

Then I realize, I'm not that person anymore.

The guilt of that realization pours through me.

I feel fake.

Dishonest.

Guilty.

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Unrealistic Expectations

For him to ask you how you're doing. To visit the home you've put your heart into. To ask to hang out. To ask about your life. Your boyfriend. Your travels. Or hobbies. Or friends. To care.

There's a lot that no one knows about me.

Which is on purpose. I try very hard to be a kind person, but it's really a facade so I feel safe and protected at a distance. There's a reason for that. <7 Years Old: I was on a family vacation in Mi

Let me tell you about my boyfriend.

I was divorced for almost a year when he interviewed me for a job. When I accepted the offer, I was the only American with a team of 6 wonderful Lithuanians. Three of us were based in Chicago and the

Then I'm back.

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