Then I'm back.

Updated: Sep 26

A cool breeze brushes my face on my morning run.

Then I'm back in Tenessee. Going on my morning run near our apartment. I feel the same cool breeze. Feel the same emotions. Depression. Pressure. And hoping this run can get me out of it.

I feel the warmth as I open my car door at Target.

Then I'm back once more. I'm married. It's a Friday night, and I'm buying decor for our home.

It can be the simplest thing.

A smell.


A familiar landscape.

To bring me back to who I was. In a different life, as a different person.

Then I realize, I'm not that person anymore.

The guilt of that realization pours through me.

I feel fake.



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