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Then what?

File bankruptcy.


Check.


Get a job.


Check.


Get an apartment.


Check.


Get a therapist.


Check.


Change my last name.


Check.


Get a raise.


Check.


But what happens when the checkboxes run out?


I had steps. I had clear goals to help me recover and heal.


But what happens when they're done?


Then what?


When no one is watching? When you've done all the right things?


When you can start living your life beyond those boxes?


Then what?

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Then I'm back.

A cool breeze brushes my face on my morning run. Then I'm back in Tenessee. Going on my morning run near our apartment. I feel the same cool breeze. Feel the same emotions. Depression. Pressure. And h

It's too good to be true.

To have these moments. Leave a self-defense class. More and more confident each week. Wearing my nice yoga pants. Drive to my mom's to drop off fresh pears from the farmer's market. We rest. On rockin

How do I know

That I'm me? I feel creative I want to write Or cook Or make jokes Or learn I'm not exhausted, obsessive, or anxious That's how I know.