There's my jealousy

We got into an argument.

She shared that she was jealous of my life. There were moments she wished she wasn't a mom. She wished she was single like I was. She wished she had more freedom.

It's like she couldn't see the negative effects of my choices. Yes, I had freedom...but at a cost. Yes, I was single...but not emotionally ready to commit to a relationship.

Then there's my jealousy. I wished I was a mom.

I was mad.

This is how I've lived my life no matter the phase. College. Single. Married. Divorced. I've have really lived life fully...almost too fully.... to a point of saying "yes" is a problem. And with all those choices, I'm willing to accept the outcome.

She told me about a date she went on. She said he was comfortable to be around. He tends to stay home more and a live a quiet, simple life. She wasn't excited, but more contemplative when talking about their interactions.

"That's a red flag," I replied. "That's what you said about your spouse when you started dating him."

We talked about it more.

"Here's my opinion. If you express your jealously about my lifestyle, then you need to choose a partner that lives how you desire to live. If you want to sit at home, go for it. From our past conversations, that's not the life I hear you want to live though. You don't deserve to settle, especially after everything you've been through. I understand you want comfort and a companionship right now. You deserve everything you want in life and more though."

Recent Posts

See All

Then I'm back.

A cool breeze brushes my face on my morning run. Then I'm back in Tenessee. Going on my morning run near our apartment. I feel the same cool breeze. Feel the same emotions. Depression. Pressure. And h

It's too good to be true.

To have these moments. Leave a self-defense class. More and more confident each week. Wearing my nice yoga pants. Drive to my mom's to drop off fresh pears from the farmer's market. We rest. On rockin

How do I know

That I'm me? I feel creative I want to write Or cook Or make jokes Or learn I'm not exhausted, obsessive, or anxious That's how I know.