When I post on social media, I hesitate.
I think of my ex-husband's friends and family who still follow me.
I won't delete them.
I have considered it.
On several occasions.
Out of fear of being judged.
Gossiped about.
Being misunderstood.
But they followed me on social media before anyone knew about the divorce.
So it would be illogical to remove them.
And I care about them.
So they stay.
And they watch as my new life unfolds.
As I press, "Share," the imaginary commentary starts creeping in...
"What happened to them?"
"Who's fault was it?"
"How could she be happy after what happened?"
"Was it her fault?"
"How could she do that to him?"
"She's trying too hard."
"I never thought they'd last."
"Is she really happy?"
"She's fake."
I tell myself, "They don't know. It's okay, they don't know."
Sometimes that works.
And sometimes I post.
And sometimes I regret it. I archive the post. I think...maybe it was too soon. Or I feel it wasn't authentic to how I was really feeling. I let these imaginary voices win.