Search

They don't know

Updated: Feb 27, 2020

When I post on social media, I hesitate.


I think of my ex-husband's friends and family who still follow me.


I won't delete them.

I have considered it.

On several occasions.

Out of fear of being judged.

Gossiped about.

Being misunderstood.


But they followed me on social media before anyone knew about the divorce.


So it would be illogical to remove them.


And I care about them.


So they stay.


And they watch as my new life unfolds.


As I press, "Share," the imaginary commentary starts creeping in...


"What happened to them?"

"Who's fault was it?"

"How could she be happy after what happened?"

"Was it her fault?"

"How could she do that to him?"

"She's trying too hard."

"I never thought they'd last."

"Is she really happy?"

"She's fake."


I tell myself, "They don't know. It's okay, they don't know."


Sometimes that works.


And sometimes I post.


And sometimes I regret it. I archive the post. I think...maybe it was too soon. Or I feel it wasn't authentic to how I was really feeling. I let these imaginary voices win.

Recent Posts

See All

Another Night

With windows open, letting in the warm Spring air. A mug of hot water, honey, and whiskey. Wrapped in a blanket as I pour out my heart on paper. Listening to the live music from the wine bar across th

Wishing

Sometimes the pain from my past drowns me. I feel like I'm held underwater, unable to get air. I'm reminded of the choices I made. My pride and arrogance. Dismissing my family, thinking I didn't need

From nothing

I went from nothing two years ago to this. "Hallie, I can't believe how far you've come," my uncle said as he looked around my apartment. I didn't have any money. I was actually in debt. I didn't have

For Special Notes

© 2021 by Hallie Marie