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A year ago

I left with...


Three outfits

A car filled to the brim with my company's assets

Evidence from a traumatic life event

Cash from selling my wedding band for gas


And now I'm preparing to move out of my parent's house with...


New furniture

A steady job and income

Stacks of sweet letters and cards from loved ones

Journals filled with a year of beautiful memories

A closet full of endless dresses and clothes

Confidence and support from my family

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There's one that survived a cult. She still emails other survivors. The ones who have lost themselves or others. She works with the police. She documents what happens and works on her book. She does t

I spiral. I feel like I did when David told me he had cheated. I feel like I did when Michael said goodbye in the parking lot of San Jose. Or when he left me in the elevator. I feel it rush in my body

I buy kayaks. Bake brownies. Reupholster my chairs. I make spreadsheets and book hotels. I write out grocery lists and buy new clothes. I want everything to be right and ready. That's who I am.