There are two of me.
There's one that survived a cult. She still emails other survivors. The ones who have lost themselves or others. She works with the...
Starting Life Again
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- Aug 28
- 1 min
When plans don't go as planned.
I spiral. I feel like I did when David told me he had cheated. I feel like I did when Michael said goodbye in the parking lot of San...
- Aug 28
- 1 min
Who I am.
I buy kayaks. Bake brownies. Reupholster my chairs. I make spreadsheets and book hotels. I write out grocery lists and buy new clothes. I...
- Aug 26
- 1 min
I have me.
When I have no one else, I have me. When I lose everything, I have me. When I’m lost or scared or stuck, I have me. When people say they...
- Aug 13
- 2 min
The shoes
When I moved back home, I barely had money in my bank account. I had less than $200 available at any given time. I wasn't mentally or...
- Aug 13
- 1 min
To fall in love
Isn't falling, is it? It's magnetism. You're drawn together. It's an equal push and pull. With acceptance and love. Full of safety and...
- Aug 2
- 1 min
What I missed
I got married. Drove 8hr to Nashville the next day. Flew for our honeymoon the day after that. Flew back six days later. Changed my last...
- Aug 1
- 1 min
What it comes down to.
I don’t want my family to think I didn’t choose them. Just like my dad didn’t choose me. I don’t want them to think I don’t love them...
- Jul 31
- 1 min
This pattern I know
When I start hating myself and who I am. I deep clean. I need to organize. I make piles of items I want to throw away or donate. I have...
- Jul 31
- 1 min
What does 3 years look like?
I'm making choices to shape my future, not out of survival. I've chosen a job that makes me happier and fits my strengths better. I don't...
- Jul 31
- 1 min
I'm scared
To wear dark lipstick. To go public on Instagram. To be found. To wear bold dresses. To get married. Have kids. Travel alone. Lead my...
- Jul 27
- 1 min
What you value
My dad and his girlfriend are taking a break. "I don't want to give up my time. If I go to dinner with her after work then I won't get...
- Jul 27
- 1 min
I feel change
In the warm summer air. As it brushes my hair and burns my chest. I'm not good with change. Or goodbyes. Or forced hellos even. Our...
- Apr 24
- 1 min
10 years
It's been 10 years since we kissed. 7 since we were married. 3 since we've been divorced. How many lives have we lived?
- Mar 21
- 1 min
A Game of Chess
I stared at the board. Too scared to place the first piece. Too scared to lose. Not knowing which move first. Nothing happened. I hoped...
- Mar 21
- 1 min
It’s when I say goodbye.
When do I typically feel the most sad? It’s when I say goodbye. It’s ending a conversation. Leaving the dinner or party. Kissing you at...
- Mar 17
- 1 min
The distance
I don’t know if I can do I already travel. For work. And life. And then for a relationship. How do I do it all without losing myself?
- Jan 17
- 1 min
If we both believed
the lies she said, we weren’t meant for each other. She filled our heads with stories about each other. And we believed them. He believed...
- Jan 14
- 1 min
Your Name
I had it until a month ago. I only changed it two weeks before we had dinner. Three years since we saw each other. Almost the same amount...
- Jan 11
- 1 min
I’m the same.
My posture. Hair. Weight. Forgetfulness. Humor. I have the same laptop. Phone. Glasses. But everything is different.
- Jan 2
- 1 min
Expression.
Painting. Talking. Journaling. Yoga. Running. Stretching. Dance. Movement. We fill our mind and body with so many senses and...
- Jan 2
- 1 min
What is depression to me?
Letting the dishes sit for days. Craving to be alone more and more. Hating myself. Forgetting the stove is on. Not wanting to eat. Or...
- Nov 14, 2021
- 1 min
You need to pray hard about this
What's your long-term plan with this? Are you moving there? Is he moving there? Is he a Christian? I love this for you. You're really...
- Nov 14, 2021
- 1 min
Is it worth it?
"The trip was perfect," I told my therapist. It was even better than I could imagine. We navigated the chaos of London together. We took...