I've heard

I've heard that someone is never the same after trauma. They'll never be who they were before it happened.

They'll try, but it won't happen. That person doesn't exist.

It was tough to hear that.

When I was in high school, we watched a video about a boy who was hit in a drunk driving accident. The high schooler had a brain injury that affected his speech. Inside he felt like he was the same person, but he was limited mentally. He would stay up late at night buying products from ads and paid programming that promised "to be healthy", "normal", "to fix all your problems." He begged to be normal again, but he couldn't be.

Clips from that video ring in my mind.

As I email doctors. Make appointments. Take their advice.

Pray constantly. Go to church. Confess my sins.

Read books on trauma.

Learn to draw. Color.


Cry while trying to do yoga again.

Journal. Use essential oils. Release emotions through muscle testing.

Fall asleep on the couch utterly exhausted from trying so hard.

Wake up with my jeans on and start again.

Just hoping to have pieces of me back again.

Recent Posts

See All

It's been 10 years since we kissed. 7 since we were married. 3 since we've been divorced. How many lives have we lived?

My mom texted me. "Do you know someone called Brandy? She asked how things with your boyfriend are going." My mom wrote. My mom has been receiving my texts since my phone started having issues. "Brand

I stared at the board. Too scared to place the first piece. Too scared to lose. Not knowing which move first. Nothing happened. I hoped the other player would go first. But I had to make the first mov